When feelings and important issues are left unattended or worse pushed deep beneath the surface under the guise of “its ok”, the pending issues pile up like unopened mail in our bodies and begin to bio accumulate potential chaos, the longer they are neglected. Processing difficult challenges and reconciling powerful feelings of confusion or concern are difficult, but these issues worsen if not promptly addressed. Given, all things have their time in this universe and even bills that need to be paid have their due dates. It is when we neglect to look at or inventory these important feelings or messages that eventually these issues escalate into a greater more insurmountable problem. Putting off things that are needed to be done today lead to chaos when the unexpected hits tomorrow especially you are already behind on life.
There is a fine line to walk between being a drama queen and not being flexible to being in denial or stuffing emotions through avoidance. While both options are one end of the extreme neither is a healthy solution that brings positive results. The real question lies in what is important to you? What is important in this life. Some say to not sweat the small stuff, and this is true to some extent. This colloquialism does not however infer that the details are not important in life. The details of this life do matter and they quickly snowball into an avalanche when proper emotional maintenance is ignored.
The free life without structure and a come what may attitude, while theoretically ideal in practice soon spawns the prompt return of old behavioral issues that may have lain dormant while you have enacted this charade of composure. Real issues can never truly go away with a simple one time cure or panacea and certainly not wander off forever when beneath the surface you continue to feed the big ball of junk you are stuffing in the " junk drawer" of your soul. In fact this is negative emotional hoarding and the pile up can be a avalanche that will suffocate you with its weight and force the moment the door swings open or the balloon bursts. It takes a lifestyle change to correct years of negative habitual patterns and behaviors and avoidance is not a permanent fix it is one a weak facade that will not stand any real pressure. The cycles between high and low may at times seem like moments of equilibrium but the ride is not over and the twists and turns of the emotional roller coaster lie ahead. It is through really taking a true account of why the behaviors are taking place and what is creating these feelings that must be addressed, otherwise it will not be long before you are taken for another loop. The path to wellness is a road where there are numerous and a series of decisions, these decisions are what navigate us upon our path toward higher consciousness. Our responses to the effects of our decisions are what define our character and are in a sense the litmus to where we are in terms of healing. It is only through right action and thinking that the confusion and drama of our emotions can be brought into accordance with a fair judgment and correct behavior as a response.
It is said in Yoganandas interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita that at the end of the day it is we who must decide whether or not we have won the battle against the unruly senses and the temptations towards falling short of the mark. Let me preface this with the fact that falling short on occasion does not mean you are a failure in your pursuit towards greater emotional health and wellness but rather it is a sign that you may need to work a bit harder on living in accordance to the decision to being a more balanced and healthy person both within and without.
How to address our feelings to others if we feel neglected or uncomfortable with a situation is difficult and often the longer the promptings for these feelings are left unexplored or worked on they begin to fester into a ball of a raw mix of various emotions: often sadness, anger, and confusion or rage. It becomes hard to decipher the convoluted puzzle of self-deception that has been compounding with little white lies to the self and contorted by denial. Dig deep, look within. What is the nature of this ball of incumbent furry and despair? The helplessness and self-deprecation is sure to follow with perhaps a brief or extended interlude of finger pointing and tangential misplaced energy. What is the cause of your issue?
When you feel angry or slighted or confused process these feelings after sitting with them for a moment. Choose not to lash out immediately nor to bury deep the feelings and shrug them off. Ask yourself why do I feel like this? Write it down. What am I feeling? Who does this involve and what can I do about it that will keep me in line with my goal of living a healthy and productive life? You must first do the work and then make a decision. Do not make a decision unless you are prepared to hold true to the determination for a little while. So for instance you have a relationship in which you feel does not really fit into the idea of what you think your relationship should be. You hang in there and ride the rollercoaster of should I stay or should I go, am I to blame or is it their fault? Is this persons fault or if only this were not the case and some other situation were happening would it be ok? And so on and so forth....
So here is where the cycle begins to grow into a tornado of potential danger of catastrophe. You let it slide and make rationalizations for yourself and/or others and cling to a fantasy of what might be the case were the situation to have any other assortment of variables. Waiting perhaps for these conditions to manifest and unfortunately to no avail. Maybe even you change a few things hoping it will spark a new chain reaction to lead you toward this goal and yet despite your best efforts it returns only the same result. Why is this? It is because deep down you have not really resolved the heart of the matter. You continue to expect your inner landscape to change based on the possibility of a perfect series of events that may never occur. It is in the moment that real reality for us lives. So get real. Is what you want here now?
If not, why? Everything you need for happiness is here for you now. It may look different that your picture of joy and happiness or fulfillment but that is because you need to expand your closed vision. This comes from making the decision to believe that this basic fundamental universal truth is indeed the case. If you do not then you must then continue to experiment with the manipulation of variables in this life in the hopes of finding the perfect formula for your success.
Now, what If upon closer inspection you realize that yes…everything you need is here right now but you are unable to shake this feeling of anxiety or doom regarding your circumstances. For many of us especially if you have a history of doing this to yourself repeatedly (getting upset with what you cannot control in life like people, places and things) you may need to look at methods to shifting the stinking thinking.
Are your ways of dealing with these raw energies and questions harmful to yourself or others? This harm may just be the general energy pollution that you are letting off-gas from your aura. A wise man once told me that on the path to self-mastery you must learn the power of your vibration. We are responsible for our energy and the way we transmit this to others. No matter what the circumstances we are, called to be in dominion over our weaker selves. So remember not to beat yourself up for failing to effectively navigate the chariot of or senses if you find yourself yet again in another moment of impulse behavior.
Two great mechanisms of self mastery are meditation and a personal inventory or some method of free writing to release this ticking time bomb of powerful underlying emotions. Often our lack of control or impulse go to behaviors are propelled by this growing and powerful fusion of pent up issues that we try to pretend we are resolving by letting them hide out of sight. This is our karmic test and quest. The events which spark these feelings are placed in our lives is to facilitate our greater learning and understanding of both the self and our place in the grand scheme of the universe. Often the over inflation of the importance of ourselves and our own needs is a huge milestone and challenge to the road to recovery from the deceptive and delusional world view we have been given or taken on in this lifetime. Our delusional belief in these rigid views of what the world is supposed to be like in our minds are the source of the problem. To see beyond your own BS you need to really look at what values and ideas you have been rigidlly holding on to that have been fueling these emotional outbursts. Often our entitlement or feelings that we are not being treated correctly spark this angry or sad or distrubed response. The rigid structures of belief need to be distilled within our hearts and minds and taken to its pure form. What is this life about for you?
Let’s say it is about peace. Then ask yourself, how can I find peace in this situation? What can I do right now to move towards greater peace and embrace this now? Create a simple life goal. Keep it simple, the simpler the better. This has nothing to do with the assemblage of outside factors (money, a better boyfriend, a baby, better job). The goal must be your goal for your life. Let’s say it is happiness. Now there are a few given things to consider. There will be loss in this life so do not let this be the deterrent then to the manifestation of happiness. So how can one be happy then with the knowledge that all things must end, and that change is constant in this life? Now look at the life goal of happiness…..ok here it is in black and white. By holding your hopes that your goal will be constant happiness you must really look at how this is possible while still keeping real with the fact that all emotions have a healthy place in your life. Here is the great pitfall of saying all I want is happiness in this life. It sounds so great. I do not care for money all I ask Great Spririt, HP or whoever is that you fill me with permanent abundant joy. Hmmmmmm. Looks like a sure fire way to feel guilty about feeling real feelings and probably the precursor to stuffing them because they are viewed as bad or undesirable. No....feelings are healthy and good. It is how we use them or let them use us that is a problem. If someone you love dies, you are allowed to feel sad. It is healthy to feel a little bit unworthy too at times if you are not putting your heart into your work these feelings are tips to show you something and they are natural reactions to things as well. You are here on earth to feel things. It is the way you work with these events and feelings that we are talking about.
So do not stuff your feelings, open yourself to feeling them in a safe way it is ok to be mad, to cry, to feel sad. Let yourself experience the abundance of life.
Namaste.
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