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Old Tapes We Play- Negative Loop

Posted on November 12, 2014 at 9:15 PM


So the cycle begins again, and ohhh how easily it is to fall subject to the same old trappings of yester year. The finger pointing, blame shifting and the back and forth game of who done it. Fighting fire with fire, relying on logic to win the day. But who is this imagined audience we speak to from our pulpit? We postulate and cross examine as if our battle is a mini trial and as if some imaginary judge will step out from the shadows and say.....sustained. The competition mentality run riot, the antics of the wounded ego and our pride. Who really wins when we play this old tape out. How many rounds must we go until no one wants to play anymore. Worse, when the players still try and perhaps even seek a reconciliation but are locked into an old script that can provide little more than a reprieve at best and leave behind the seeds for a future battle left buried awaiting time to grow into another frenzy.

Old tapes and our old methodology leave no room for improvement. This negative feedback loop is like a feud that lives on for generations ever harboring the sentiment that it is the other party that owes a sincere apology. It is this notion that once that other party changes their tune, then and only then will the song be different. This is the heart of the problem.

A problem that luckily yoga can solve. It takes a changing of the old patterns, it takes you to be the catalyst for change. Be the change you want to see in the world. That is it. The longer we wait for the world to change, or a person to change we will be without recourse. This unfortunately is beyond our control. So what is in our hands, what can we do to make a difference? We need to be the ones to make the shift. Shift the energy.

So a heated argument is taking place and you are back to playing the martyr role, valiantly defending some archaic position steeped in your own presupposed righteousness. This takes many shapes but at heart it is the same. We can try the old pity for them technique for emotional blackmail and use it as a silent method to prop up our defense of nobility and justice all the while feeling inside that we are being wronged. Or, perhaps we can lash out in what we may deem justifiable rage at this horrific abuse to our humanity. Whatever the form or manifestation of our triste, at the heart of any conflict we are party to, it is this, the perpetuation of our position of righteousness that keeps us bound to battle. So long as we cling to old roles and beliefs that fortify the- you are wrong and I am right mentality we will be locked into the same spin cycle of dispair and discord.

So how can we step out of this game? How can we with true intention leave the stage and the drama behind? It really is in a way, a performance if you look at it deeply a play we have made with a number of roles and lines that we follow that are written with no happy ending. That feeling that we and all of our words are being recorded in some great book that one day will serve as a testiment to our true virtue and expose once and for all the ridiculousness of the other person is a trap and ensnares us in our own misery. This hope that when we are recognized as hero and the other person villian comes inbeded in it a false notion that in the end one day we will win some strange prize is nonsense. This day will not come, and if for some strange twist of fate it were to transpire we would recieve with it the emptiness of our seperation from a person who could have under other circumstances proved to perhaps have been our friend.

Does this ring a bell?

Let it go. Yes, let it go. That is the answer. Let it go and return to peace. Come what may but refuse to be party to the monologue of your self defense. Drop the hot potatoes and let it cool off for a while.

The best remedy is to take a breath of fresh air. And while doing this and taking a walk, let go of your speech. You know the part where you replay the event a hundred times and think of the great moments you had in the verbal battles that ensued. Let go of the next round and the things you plan to say next. This is the feedback loop of negativity. This is the ball of fury and anger that grows as we allow it to pass back and forth, both with our foe and with ourselves. It is the same, we are the same. This is the mirror that has been placed before you to see the futility of the methods of conquest that we live by.

Surrender to win. Let go and free yourself of the notion of competition. This is yoga therapy for life. Breath and be. Live and let live.Next time a familiar battle begins, be it in politics or love. Allow stillness, patience and tolerance to be your tools for greater understanding. Allow the breath and a temporary pause be the mechanism for your release as well as your captives. For in the battle for dominance we are both captives really. Free yourself and others from the bondage of unnecessary conflicts by letting go of the old way.....your way. Take the highway to greater consciousness and greater depth of understanding.

Namaste.

Categories: Relationships , Emotional Healing and Therapy